This article examines the recent rebranding of the World War II Monuments, Fine Arts and Archives Program (MFA&A) into the “Monuments Men.” It contends that the Monuments Men project, and its consequent masculinization of male and female officers who served in the MFA&A, is not neutral, but rather gendered and imperial: gendered because it asserts that the act of protecting objects of beauty and desire, especially those coveted by the enemy, epitomizes masculine heroism; imperial because with the defeat and occupation of Germany and the nascent Cold War, the United States took up the mantle of protector and champion of Western Civilization by asserting custodianship of its greatest treasures. The experiences of five women in the monuments program—Edith Standen, Ardelia Hall, Mary Regan, Evelyn Tucker, and Rose Valland—throw into troubling relief the impact of such heroic discourses.